2018 SLLAW Champs!!
Winner of SLLAW XV:
The Masquarade Brawl
Winner of SLLAW XVI:
Cirque du SLLAW
Winner of SLLAW XVII:
Dana Skully-Crusher Raised in a military family, this medical doctor turned federal agent has zero patience for bullshit. After a career of battling radioactive worm people, alien government conspiracies, and sexism in the workplace, the lady of logic finally met her match-a government based on alternative fax. With her Rage becoming stratospheric, she resigned and pursuit work that was a little less alien. The truth is out there, and sometimes it hurts.
Dr. Pain Goodall
SerpenTina Called from the wilderness to defeat polarized thinking, this wrangler of serpents slithers past her opponents to rise above the boundaries of good and evil. Leave your poisoned apples at home, because this Goddess transcends dogma. Fueled by tantric energy coiled at the base of her spine, she strikes down big egos and bro-tastic attitudes. This sultry snake goddess might cause a little chaos to align the divine back into balance.
Little Edie Beatie
So-And-So the Totally Inappropriate Clown
Fiona Fangensniff'dher "the bisexual shapeshifter" Outcast by a pack of Protestant pooches, this wrestler has a bone to pick with the Patriarchy. She wags her tail at Ladies and Tramps, and that didn’t sit well with the Alpha males and their bullshit binary rules. She sniffed out SLLAW and discovered a hunger only arm wrestling can satisfy. She’s a howling good time, but biphobes beware: any talk of “just a phase” had better be about the moon.
Joan Philip Sousa
FIGMENT FREUD Don't let the name fool you. While she might be the woman of your dreams, this psychological powerhouse is completely real : Really ruthless and ready to rough up the competition!! This sawed-off psychoanalyst may be short, but what she lacks in height, she compensates for with brains, brawn, and beer. A bit neurotic but driven to put her defense mechanisms to good use. This wrestler is ready to take a break from helping high ranking male politicians overcome their vulva envy...
SLEAZA FRANK As the estranged daughter of Lisa Frank, this wrestler was born with rainbows coursing through her veins. She was expected to promote her mother’s life work at every opportunity, and although she has a love for rainbow hearts and pussy...cats, she soon learned that even unicorns get a little horny and that cupcake stickers make great pasties. She packed up her trapper keepers, swapped rainbow folders for rainbow flags, and hair scrunchies for fishnets, and headed to St. Louis.
Betsy Boss Excommunicated from her historical re-enactment troupe, this saucy seamstress refused to let an old boys' club of Minute Men & Fondling Fathers stifle her sexuality. Ditching her hoop skirt and bonnet in exchange for more liberating threads, this modern Maid in America takes pride in a homeland where she can flaunt her freedom & have a voice. -Colonial players, fur traitors and fur haters beware the power harnessed in her sewing kit. - Raise your voices & your flag poles!!
Peter Pandemonium Peter spends his time fighting pirates, wooing the ladies and snorting pixie dust. He refuses to ever grow up...but you'll be the one throwing the temper tantrum when this perpetual pre-teen takes you down. Winner of SLLAW IV: The SLLAWTER
Surly Temple After an extended career as an adorable tap dancing tyke, something changed. Grown up and tiring of being cute and perky, Ms Temple has turned to arm wrestling to express her true nature and take down some bitches. 2X Champ
Emily Lickinson Raised by a feral cat colony, this pussy-powered sophisticate enjoys poetry and litter-ature as much as clawing her way up a pole. As a teenager she was discovered by humans who thought they could whisker away to domestication, but you've gotta be kitten me! She'll purr her way into your heart and then pee all over your fresh laundry. She puts the OWW in meow.
Rosalind Shankland While working in the lab to capture images of the double helix DNA structure, she was zapped with too much X-ray radiation, and now this bionic bitch is back to collect empirical evidence that proves equality as scientific law. Don’t be a prick like Watson and Crick, because if you cross this biophysicist with unfounded misogynistic claims, she’ll get physical. Resistance is futile, so get ready to ENGAGE!
RahRahBoom! Once content to polish the floors, bake a fucking cake, and work the wringer washer -- this ideal housewife was everything a woman should be -- until she was blasted with radiation from a microwave! Now she’s only content when she’s slammin’ arms and teasing bitches. She's all things Sugar & Spice and all that’s NUCLEAR!
Sugarplum Scary Soured by a lifelong Land of Sweets feud for the title of top queen, this bloodthirsty ballerina’s tutu is royally ruffled. After flunking out of the Nutcracker Prince’s Anger Control for Candy course and making mincemeat of the Mouse King’s heart, she turned out to be more of a real nut-cracker.
P.Cocky Hatched from a Faberge egg in a petting zoo, this plucky wrestler also goes by P. Fowl, Fluffy, Fluff daddy and Fluffy fluff. She ran the coop with her crew until her partner, the notorious P.I.G., met an untimely bake-end. Outcast because she wasn't your typical white female and stood out her against her male Peacock counterparts, she blasted gender roles out of her way. To say this colorful fowl is anything but confident is poppycock. She's here to ruffle some feathers. 1X Champ
JACKIE O’ OF ALL TRADES Welding rods? CHECK. Oxy-Acetylene torch? CHECK. Jello mold? DOUBLE CHECK. She can mig it, tig it and stick it in her kitten heels. Her brawn and beauty are one in the same, but enjoy a Dr.Jekyll/ Ms. Hyde flavor in appearance. Welder by trade and by choice, this 1950s homemaker is brazing the way for women to embrace wearing lipstick while connecting bridge girders. Perfectly cooled Jell-O mold? Sure! Heating up welding rods, and the competition? You can bet on it!
Lucille Brawl This wrestler turned emcee ain't got no esplainin' to do. She's got the love of the crowd and the Vitameatavegamin to keep the show going alllllllll night.
La Diabla Overcome with DESIRE she went to the crossroads at midnight to make love to the devil, burned by that love, she now wears the mask, and craves battle with everyone she meets, Not of this earth, with the PMDD in full swing this monster wants everyone to be as miserable as she is, she will beat you down or bring you down with her bad attitude...
Tip-Son Here comes Tip-son the broad who can wine and dine you but take your arm down. (Retired)
Captain Painbow Commanding a colorful crew of proud pirates while sailing the seas of sunshine and love, this queer buccaneer will always hornswaggle for your booty! e Glitterator! (Retired)
Vie Dentata According to OkCupid, Vie enjoys long walks on the beach and upending your sexual binary. The first things others notice about her is her smile. She spends her time in bubble baths with feminist theory and on Friday nights you’re likely to find her getting her bad ass on with Black Eye Bettie or Rosalind Shanklin. You should contact her if you don’t mind that she identifies as female and uses the pronouns “she” and “incisor.” (Retired)
Black Eye Betty This rough and rumblin, tough and tumblin, cruisin and bruisin biker babe would rather choke a bitch than ride bitch. if you touch her bike, you better watch out for your tail pipe (and i don't mean on your car) because this gal hasn't gone a day without a fight since she was a baby on a tryke. you may love her, you may hate her, but you sure as shit better stay out of her way unless you've got a cold beer in your hand. 3X Champ (Retired)
Jem and the HorrorSLAMS It's Slam Time Synergy! (Retired)
The Gender Fluid Druid All too often misunderstood, You'll find this ancient soul in the woods. Some say she's priestly With armpit hair that's beastly. She's unconcerned about being confusing Because she's too busy boozing and bruising (Retired)
Olivia Newton Brawn She doesn’t just to hear your body talk - She wants to hear your body slam! Your arm will go Horizontal! She’s gonna get Physica!! Winner of The Heartbreaker's Brawl (Retired)
Sigourney Reaper (Retired)
Shoenix Left abandoned on the porch of Gloria Steinem as a young egg one dark and stormy night, Steinem took her in and sat on the egg for 9 months until she hatched. She 's out and ready to burn it up. (Retired)
Luscious Malfoy More troublesome than a Weasley and fiercer than a hippogriff, this wrestler is no muggle. As Draco's little sister, she is one tough cookie and easily vanquishes her opponents with her secret weapon: the Golden Snatch. So, pour yourself a shot of Patrón-us and watch her petrify the patriarchy! (Retired)